Teenage Suicide 

 

I recently had to write a eulogy after the death of my teenage nephew, Edward, when he took his own life.  I was asked to do this as I had been a journalist in my working life and my sister and her husband were not emotional able to put it together.  It was probably the hardest 'piece of copy' I have ever had to write and then deliver at a requiem mass.

Our family took their places in the church, still reeling from a sense of disbelief a month after Edward had made the decision to take his life.  

 Edward's young friends packed the church and toppled outside into side rooms, the hallway and church grounds.  They had gathered still in shock, suffering with a sense of loss and horror - all of us gathered in a place where the world stands still, unable to comprehend the reality.

We said goodbye to our handsome 18-year-old who had recently celebrated his birthday, passed his driving test, was everyone's friend and had his whole life yet to unfold ahead of him.

I am writing this now two months after the event for a few reasons.  The first is to highlight the seriousness of teenage depression, to publish the urlogy in the hope it will help people with a similar loss put the necessary words together and then as a kind of therapy for me and the need to verbalise the most awful event in my 65 years of life.  

Edward words

Thank you for coming to Ed’s final farewell. I think he would be extremely pleased to know how many people have come to show how much they care. 

I am Ed’s aunt, Anne and I have been asked to say a few words about Edward on behalf of his mum, dad, brother and sister.  Karen, Alan, William and Katlin.

Although they are now a family trying to come to terms with the lost of such a precious young life, they are very aware of the great shock Ed’s death has caused.

Edward had a wonderful future of exploration and growing up ahead of him.  He was so full of life, love and laughter that it seems inconceivable to those who knew and loved him that he could fall off track badly enough to take his life.

In that one dark moment of insecurities and wavering self-esteem everyone here has lost someone dear to their hearts….

Karen and Alan would like us all to reflect on the 18 years he enjoyed while he was here.

Ed was a young man who had huge dreams and aspirations.  He was creative and inventive. He had a great number of friends. 

He often looked to his parents for advice and could take that advice and turn it to his advantage.

On joining his secondary school, Edward did not immediately make friends so his dad suggested sharing his sweets.

What his dad didn’t realise was that even at this young age, Edward was an entrepreneur.

His early gestures not only brought him lifelong friends but it turned into a lucrative sideline.

He would bring a kitbag of sweets and drinks to school to sell at profit.  This financed his hobbies during his secondary education.

His mischievous nature was always at the forefront and he would sign his older brother up to websites for adopting a donkey , giraffe , and any other animal he could think of - the more recent prank included a dodgy dating site.

Edward had a delightful charm which he used to rescue himself from various tricky situations when he had overstepped the mark:

When being told off he would spread his arms out wide and say: “ someone

needs a cuddle”.  He used this on his mum to good effect .  

He lived with humour and on most occasions would be the ‘life of the party’.  His quick wit was readily on call and he could set someone up in an instance.  When his sister, Kaitlin, was singing along with a song Ed would ask her

who sings that song?

 Kate's would reply with the artists name and Ed would merely say:

“let's keep it that way!”. 

On first meeting his newly born nephew, Roux, he cradled him in his arms, looked up  and said is this all he does ?

Ed was a normal, everyday boy.  He had the normal teenage ability to consume lots of food and his mum’s sweets.

He thought that a ham cheese and marmite baguette was the food of the gods. He had a love of fried chicken and could unbelievably eat a whole bucket. He was confidant to many, he listened and always wanted to help.

       

But… Ed had a heart that was too big.  He questioned life too deeply -  at the time -  teenagers struggle to find their place in the world.

We will all have many cherished memories of Edward.  It is these happier times that we encourage you all to take forward with you in life.

Both Karen and Alan would take great comfort knowing whatever your age, and particularly Ed’s young friends, whatever you achieve and in all your successes – you will look for joy in all you do.

        

They sincerely want  Ed’s death not be a reminder of grief and pain but want you all to see it as a reason why you need to look for the happiness in your own lives.